What You Will and Won't Tolerate

You know that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? Oh, yes. You do. That feeling that tells you to run. Or to slow down. Or to listen to yourself. God put that feeling in you for a reason. It’s your barometer. Trust it.

As human beings, we need to know what we will and won’t tolerate. This is where our boundaries lie. And often, we don’t realize where they are until they have been violated. When the boundaries are violated, it leaves an icky feeling in our stomach and hearts.

Let me tell you a little story.

Several months ago, I tried dating. I was freshly out of a dysfunctional relationship. I was still reeling from all the mind games being played on a regular basis. So, I thought I’d try to stop the pain by meeting and hanging out with someone new.

On the surface, the dude seemed nice enough. But. Oh, the but. He started by invading my boundaries-even on the first date. And I let him for a little while. Mainly because I was hurting and lonely. And that, dear friends, is how we settle.

Shortly after sort of, kind of, not really dating this dude I found my guts. I put my foot down. Every time he would talk to me, I would want to get to know him better. He would either throw up a wall or he would just flat out be aloof. He would want me to give emotionally…but he wasn’t willing to do the same….so….I called it off.

Was there potential with him? Probably. Would I be settling? Definitely.

Girls, please don’t settle. You deserve God’s best. Just because we are lonely or sad or even scared…it just isn’t reason enough to settle.

Here I am at 40. Still trying to get the dating thing right. But…I. Will. No. Longer. Settle. For. Less. Than. The. Best. You don’t either.


Live Your Best Life

I decided when Pop died (after several months of grieving) that the best way I can remember him is to make him proud by living my best life. That is just what I have been doing the last six months or so.

What my best life is may not be what your best life is. You have to find those things that make you happy on a daily basis. For me, those things really usually aren’t things. My friends. My kiddos in class. Serving others. Music. Traveling. Painting. Writing. Music. Those things bring me joy. Those glorious gifts from the Universe make me smile.

Daily I do my best to connect to God by enjoying the gifts he has given me. And (sometimes more importantly) sharing those gifts with others.

So, here’s the deal: what makes you smile? Seriously. Think about it. Make a list. They may be super simple things that can easily be overlooked but they bring tremendous amounts of peace and joy. Make time for those things, even if only 1 or 2 of those things, EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Sometimes, this may mean you have to say no to things that don’t bring you joy. That way you have time to invest in those things that DO bring you joy. Sounds simple doesn’t it. It isn’t. As adults, we would rather over complicate things and overthink things.


Take inventory.

Find your joy.

Faith, Mental Health

Marriage Preparation Series: Step #1

Photo by mentatdgt on

The whole point of this series is to give you ideas of things you can work on while in a season of waiting for your spouse. You could be dating. You could be 100% single. This series stems from things I’ve learned in my season of waiting.

First and foremost: work on healing wounds. Those wounds could come from childhood. They may be from previous relationships. They could come from abuse. They could come from neglect. But always, those wounds come from a place of pain and negativity.

To be the best you can be in a relationship, one must assess wounds and work on healing those wounds. The scars will still be there, but you won’t be bleeding all over your partner. Some wounds are deep. The process of healing these will not be easy and will not be comfortable. And, in my opinion, is best done with the help of a professional.

I cannot explain how much I believe EVERYONE can benefit from therapy…if you are willing to do the work and be vulnerable. I realize that not everyone has medical insurance. I realize there is a cost to therapy. I also realize…It. Is. Worth. Every. Penny. Finding a therapist you trust is key. You will be doing hard work. The therapist will be cheering you on and helping you untangle the thoughts and emotions in your head.

I had a person tell me once that she didn’t need therapy, because she didn’t have baggage. Darlin’, everyone has baggage. Every. Single. Person. The question isn’t whether you have baggage or not. The question is: Am I willing to do the hard work and be vulnerable? And I dare say, until we are willing to be honest with ourselves and our therapists, we cannot be vulnerable with a partner.

Some resources for you:

May God bring you Peace through this journey.


Welcome to 2020! (And a New Series!)

As the year is beginning, I would like to introduce to you a new series of posts that will happen in this new year. The topic is marriage. I get it. Marriage…from someone who isn’t married. Well, yes. I consider myself a bit experienced in the relationship department. I thought I would share what I’ve learned.

First and foremost, I have learned you must prepare for marriage, prior to discussing marriage. Even before you are in a relationship. Why? Because it gives you perspective on what you want and also what your need. And more importantly, what you can offer your future spouse. For the next month, I am focusing on marriage preparation and things we can do now, as singles, to be in a better position for our spouse.

Sit back, relax, grab a warm beverage and enjoy! The posts will come fresh on each Wednesday of the month. I hope I inspire and assist you in your journey!



I’m looking at building an online community of like minded women in various stages of life. The community will be Catholic based and interactive. If you are interested in being a part of the launch, join the group here.


Peace. Brave.

Next to the Eucharist, the sign of Peace is my favorite part of the Mass. There is something about confirming the Peace that lives in us weekly that affirms how we should be living.

My word for 2020 is brave.

Because of the Peace in my heart, I am able to live more bravely. More boldly.


Lessons Revisited

Do you ever feel like God is giving you a remediation lesson? I do. A lot. He seems to give me chance after chance to learn that which I missed the first time.

I guess for me the biggest remediation lesson is simply Love. Will I choose to Love today?

At the heart of Love is sacrifice. I have loved and been loved on occasion to some degree. But sacrifice…am I willing to give up what my expectations are for the benefit of another?

Yall…I’ve failed at Love more times than I can count. Yet…every…single…day…Jesus gives me the opportunity to try again. And I’m so incredibly thankful for that.

Part of Love is holding loosely. Not squeezing the life out of a person. The deal is this: sometimes, we are holding onto someone or something that Jesus knows is not the BEST.

When I was in college, I fell for a guy. I fell hard and fast. I wanted to get married and have lots of babies with that man. He is a good man. He was not my man. I held onto him as tightly as I could…too scared to let go.

We do that sometimes…hold onto something not meant for us. In the end, it ends up hurting us more. Like holding onto a slipping rope.

I finally have let go of another rope. And guess what? I’m starting to heal. Little by little.

Friends, as I said on Instagram today, time is our most valuable gift. Use it for Good.