Faith

Total Transparency

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Dear sisters,

I am writing you today to be transparent in my journey through life. I am a sinner. I struggle with selfishness, ingratitude, and anger. I also struggle with trusting Jesus. Because I am a sinner, I need Jesus all the more.

It has been awhile since I’ve actually participated in Mass sitting in the Church. Often and regularly, I tune into Mass using EWTN. Getting in to the actual parish to attend Mass is much more of a struggle. You see, I struggle with anxiety. Social settings trigger waves of anxiety in me. I know I need Jesus. I also fear people. Here is the deal. I’m hoping by being transparent in my struggles that other women will connect and will also support me in my journey.

Often, it is simple to talk myself out of attending Mass. I can justify things. I can lean into old habits. I can flounder in my faith. That is not who I want to be. I desire to be a faithful Catholic. I desire to grow and have Jesus cleans my soul. I desire to perfect my experience while traveling through this journey on Earth. It is my goal to at least actually attend Mass in person and body once a month. If I can start that habit and release the fear that grips my heart, maybe I will be able to attend more often than that.

I share this, so you understand the person behind the keyboard, social media, and blog is a living, breathing soul with issues…just like you. We all have struggles. The more open we are about them, the less power they have over us. Please pray for me, as I am praying for you.

3 thoughts on “Total Transparency”

  1. I know how you feel. I have panic attacks,and anxiety. I started watching EWTN long ago and it took me the start of this year to even take rcia,and go to Mass.

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