Marriage…and Divorce

“I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible.”

– G.K. Chesterton “What is Wrong with the World”

This quote rings as true with me on so many levels. Here I am. I’m a twice annulled Catholic sitting at 40 on the number line. There are no compatible marriages. It is about sticking it out and survival.

I regret my first divorce so much. I was young and dumb. I was brought up in dysfunction and brought that dysfunction into our marriage. I hurt on the daily because I’ve made my first family hurt on so many levels. I grieve the loss of that relationship frequently. It was his third marriage. My first. He was my first experience as being a grown up. I became a parent, a wife, a homeowner. All of that. At 24 years old. I didn’t know what I was doing. Apparently, he didn’t either. I pray for him. I hope he finds his peace.

My second marriage was just because I was trying to move forward through the pain of my first divorce. I married some guy I met online. I found out (after we were married) that he was a raging atheistic alcoholic. He left my house in handcuffs. There is a restraining order written into the divorce. And I carry on the daily.

Between the demise of the two marriages, I ended up with PTSD. I would have nightmares every single night for years. I struggled for years to put one foot in front of the other. But here I am, trying to repair my broken heart and heal it for good. Only Jesus can do that.

I’ve learned through all my experiences that I cannot depend on people to fix me. Whether that is a therapist, a doctor, or a friend. Only Jesus heals. And through my daily fiat, I am letting him do just that.

Grace is not in a pretty package. All neat and orderly. Grace is thrown on us in our dirtiness. It is given to us in our messes. Grace is given as we make small yeses to God.

You will never be clean enough to earn grace. You will never be dirty enough to have grace reject you. Love finds us in the mire. Pulls us out. And gives us the strength to move forward as we are. Embrace grace.


Suffering as a Means to Grace

Photo by Matthew T Rader on

A Catholic friend once told me that his mom was constantly reminding him to offer up his suffering as a means to grace. His mom was a wise woman I believe. Grace extends a little love in our direction and pulls us close to God. How I need the grace!

The last year of my life has been a lot of suffering. Some of it has been self inflicted, no doubt. But some of it, just was there-with no rhyme or reason. I’ve made an effort in the last year to offer that suffering up to Jesus. And it has made my struggles a little more manageable to bear.

Jesus went through so much out of Love. Just pure Love. His Love for us allowed Him to sacrifice. My struggles are nowhere near what Jesus suffered, but it’s enough to help me remember that he did indeed went through much more than I have. That helps me find the grace.

God is the God of Mercy. Mercy and Love. No matter how much we don’t deserve it. No matter how much we sin. God Loves us. You and me. I pray that we both find the grace we are seeking. I pray that we seek that grace daily. I pray that we find our peace through our trials. Hugs, dear readers.



I released the new rebranding of the blog this week. With everything from a new handle on social media to a new domain. Why? Why go to all this trouble?

Because I AM in the middle of daily making my fiat to God. My little yes. Y’all, it’s not always easy to choose Him over the easiest options. Those options that are comfortable.

Sure. I would’ve been easier for Mary to say no. Sure. A baby drastically changes things. She said yes anyway.

That, my friends, is where the rubber meets the road with faith. Do we choose God’s option over our wants?

I’m trying. Daily.

I hope you’ll join with me by choosing your yeses.

Mental Health

Coping Skills Post #2

Photo by Jessica Lewis on

I am learning to be okay in my own skin. Often it is difficult to be in my own head, but I am managing better today than I was 6 months earlier. A coping skill that I’ve been using is journaling.

Journaling isn’t for everyone. Some people can’t stand it. For me, to have my thoughts on paper makes a huge difference. I can see my mind and where I was at a certain time. I’m able to step away from the immediate situation and yet save that situation to deal with at a later time. It is a great strategy for me. It may help you too.

I bought a $3 journal from Wal-Mart. And I’ve been writing. It doesn’t really matte what. Just get something down. It’s like exercising. The more you do it, the easier it is.

Mental Health

Coping Skills…What Do I Know?

Back at the beginning of September, I said I was going to do a series on coping skills. I have learned in that month, that I know a lot of technical thing about coping skills, but implementing them is an whole other animal.

My go to coping skill right now is meditation. I meditate each night before bed. It helps soothe the rough spots of the day out. I usually will do this either by saying my Rosary or doing a sleep exercise with a skill on Alexa called Headspace. It is free to do the sleep exercise and it helps me drift off to sleep. Many times, through praying the rosary, I do end up drifting off to sleep. I hope that my guardian angel will finish my prayers for me.

All this to say…I am going to attempt to continue this series during the month of October. I’m sorry that my ideas for September didn’t transpire into goals for September. That’s okay though. There is still the month of October to get the job done. Happy fall, y’all.

Life in General

Homemade Instant Pot Applesauce

Earlier this month, I rode up to Ellijay, Georgia. If you are from Jawja, Ellijay is the place for apples in the fall.

I picked up some Jonagold apples. I was told by the nice man at Panorama Orchards that this was his sweetest apple and I would not need sugar.

I did some research. I spoke to some friends. I commenced to applesauce making.

The first thing I did was de-seed and quarter the apples. Then, I washed them and put them in my Instant Pot. I added 2 cups of water. I set the IP on low pressure for 4 hours…and I walked away.

I am currently questioning my lack of lemon or orange juice in the applesauce. I was completely out. This may come out super brown.

After it is done cooking, I will mix the sauce with an immersion blender. I’ll update as soon as this gets done.

Edit: There was a TON of controversy stirred up in the IP group over this recipe. I cooked the apples for about 1.5 hours. It’s dang good applesauce and I plan to make some baked goods with this sauce.

This is the finished sauce. Applesauce is ridiculously easy. Don’t let IP snobs steer you away or make you question your skill. You CAN do this. And health wise, it is so much better for you!

Mental Health

Another New Series

This month I am choosing to focus on mental health. Specifically, I will focus on coping skills that help me move forward in life and they may help you, too.

Coping skills…what are they? Coping skills are the things we use in life to get through. The way we survive and in some cases the way we thrive.

The first coping skill will come at you next week. I am trying to make these posts happen on Mondays. I missed this post with this Monday, so I don’t know how consistent I will be at it. I’m trying y’all. 🙂 Bear with me.